So farewell, then, to Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, we barely knew you.
While he remained something of an enigma, there’s no denying that Philip had a remarkable run over decade after decade. You’d have to be damned near 80 to remember a time when the Queen’s husband wasn’t in the public eye, although the impression he left wasn’t always particularly positive. This was a man who once asked a Scottish driving instructor how they kept the locals sober long enough to take the test.
When Philip first appeared on the global stage, the population of Drayton Valley was less than 100 (I’m willing to be that even then, a fair number of them were complaining about potholes). Brazeau County wouldn’t even exist for another 40 years and the Toronto Maple Leafs (!) were Stanley Cup champions.
Now, with her husband gone, attention will inevitably turn to the Queen herself, and the thorny question of what happens to the family business when she dies.
The Queen was born the same year as my dad, and he’s been dead since 1983, so, without being morbid, it’s probably safe to say that her best days are behind her. Do we want to continue with the monarchy once she’s gone?
I’m always a little queasy about people who are anti-monarchy, because it sometimes feels like shorthand for being anti English, which is no more acceptable than any other kind of bigotry. But still, for a country that considers itself one of the world’s leading democracies, it does seem damned odd that Canada’s head of state is a hereditary ruler who doesn’t actually live here.
But don’t put away your Union Jack underwear and novelty false teeth just yet, because like it or not, Canada needs the Royal Family. As head of state the Queen and her successors are the glue that holds the Canadian parliamentary system together. If we want to get rid of them, we’d have to reopen the Constitution. Anyone old enough to remember the last time we tried to do that will tell you it was a very bad idea indeed. The 1992 referendum on the Charlottetown Accord (kids, ask your grandparents) was the only time in my life I’ve genuinely struggled over which way to cast my vote. There were people on both sides of the debate who just seemed so horrible I didn’t want to be associated with them. It was like trying to choose between a poke in the eye and a kick in the swingers.
And Charlottetown was just a little constitutional tinkering compared to what we’d have to do to replace the monarchy. If you think the Royal Family is expensive and outdated you are correct. But consider this: by their very existence the Queen and her family prevent Canadians from spending several years engaged in never ending public debate between the provinces and the federal government and anybody else who feels like throwing their two cents in, with the occasional inconclusive referendum just to spice things up a bit. Some things (bees, scorpions, the feminne hygiene aisle in your local pharmacy) are best left alone. The Canadian Constitution is one of those things. We’d be wise to stick with the monarchy for as long as they’ll have us.
