Free Press guest writer, Courtney Whalen
My humble condo has become a castle once more with the return of Precious Princess to its four walls.
It turns out she is not big on sharing her rule with other four-legged creatures, and she was in need of a kingdom all to herself. Faced with a severe lack of feeling judged in my own home since she departed last fall, I decided to surrender my space for Princess’ (hopefully) benevolent rule once again.
Since Precious Princesses do not travel well, my first order of business was to give the royal carrier a good hosing out. There’s nothing quite like cleaning up vomit under the steady scrutiny of its perpetrator to remind you just where cats think humans fit into the hierarchy of their world.
With me firmly put back into my place, Princess set about getting reacquainted with her domain. It took her less than an hour to rediscover all her favourite spots – like the narrow space between the washer and dryer I’ve told her to stay out of where I can’t reach her when she dismisses my request. Or the ONE small area of my couch not covered in a blanket to protect it from cat hair. She definitely likes to stare at me while she makes herself comfortable in that spot.
We are currently in negotiations regarding pillow usage. I am of the firm opinion that the one place Princess must never go is my pillow. I’m really quite immovable on this point. Her counteroffer is to wait until I’m just about asleep to get on the pillow. Then, when I emphatically tell her ‘NO!’ she lets me know how she feels about my attempts to order her around by simply walking over my face. The final outcome of these delicate negotiations is still to be determined.
There is only one way in which I am able to establish any type of dominance at all in this feudal relationship – those times when the vacuum comes out. For those precious minutes the balance of power is restored and I am once again in charge of my own destiny. However, the practicalities of employing a running vacuum cleaner every time I want to assert some free will are a bit problematic.
Despite the power struggle, which I am certainly losing at this point, we are starting to get back into some routines. If I am spending too much time doing activities that don’t involve sitting on the couch, Princess makes sure to let me know that I really should rest. And if the result of that is her squeezing herself into the space between me and my tray of snacks where it is easy to demand pets every time I reach for some food… well, I’m sure that’s coincidental. We’ve started watching baseball together and her side eye is an excellent reminder that it’s uncouth to yell obscenities at professional athletes and umpires and that such behaviour certainly can’t be tolerated in her kingdom. Exercising IS tolerated, but just barely. After a few minutes of observation from atop the kitty tower she turns her back, embarrassed at my efforts. It’s a very supportive relationship.
So, to summarize, two weeks in we’re starting to get back to where we were last year – it’s her kingdom and I just live there.
