On a bright sunny day in mid May of 1986 I landed at Calgary airport, ready to build a new life in the Great White North. I had a full head of hair, a heart full of dreams and a full set of teeth. The world lay at my feet.
A lot has happened in the intervening years, much of it varying degrees of awful. The hair has gone and so have a couple of the teeth, but I continue to plug away in pursuit of the Canadian Dream. Here’s the story of my four-decade Canadian Odyssey, conveniently broken down in number form because it’s easier to write that way and after 40 years I feel like I’m due a break.
40: Number of years I have lived in Canada. Depending on how you look at it, that’s 480 months, 2,080 weeks or a staggering 350,400 hours (plus a few extra because of leap years). No wonder I’m exhausted.
27: Number of those years spent in Drayton Valley.
<1: Number of years I anticipated spending in Drayton Valley when I first arrived. Every time I think I’m out they pull me back in.
618: Number of kilometres (round trip) I used to drive every second weekend to see my kids. That’s the equivalent of a little more than 3,072 furlongs if you’re interested in that sort of thing, which, now I come to think of it, you probably aren’t.
9: Number of provinces I have visited, assuming you count 30 minutes at a truck stop in Brandon as visiting Manitoba.
1: Number of provinces I have not visited. As far as I can tell Newfoundlanders are somehow managing to cope with the disappointment.
4: Number of times a Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since I arrived.
36: Number of years since the last of those wins.
12: Number of times per year, on average, someone tells me they love my accent and asks what part of Ireland I’m from. I’m Scottish.
6.25 Hourly wage at my first Canadian job; picking up garbage at Foothills Stadium, which was then home to the Calgary Cannons of the Pacific Coast League. The Cannons were a great organization and the job was actually a lot of fun. Hauling bags of empty beer cups, sweeping up peanut shells and occasionally scraping nacho cheese off the bleachers for a Triple A ball team was also the closest I ever came to sporting achievement of any kind.
10, 3: Time in years and months I spent working at the Drayton Valley Western Review, making me the longest serving editor in the history of that publication.
6, 7: No, it’s not what you think. It’s the time I’ve spent in years and months working at the Drayton Valley and District Free Press, making me the longest serving editor in the history of this publication. What can I tell you? I don’t like change.
0: Number of times I have been voted Employee of the Month. Baffling.
12: What it used to cost, in dollars, to fill the tank of a 1977 Mercury Comet.
**!!%&!!: What that same tankful of gas costs today.
