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Fire department looking for volunteers

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The Drayton Valley Fire Department is looking for a few good men or women.

Joey Cherpin, the fire training officer and director of emergency management for the Town of Drayton Valley, says they have an active recruitment status at the moment that will remain open until the end of October.

Cherpin says there aren’t necessarily many qualifications that are required to become a firefighter. “What we look for is the right aptitude,” he says. What’s more important, he says, is that they have the right attitude, they’re able bodied, and they’re willing to commit some time to the department.

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The two absolute requirements are a Class 5 driver’s license and those who apply must be 18 years of age or older.

They also want people who are interested in serving the community and plan to stay in the community for a while. “We don’t want workers who are only going to be in Drayton for six months,” he says.

Those that apply also need to have flexibility with their time.

“We’re not looking for people to give up their life and spend every waking moment here,” he says. He says there is a minimum commitment because the service they offer is so important.

For example, the firefighters get together every Wednesday evening for training. All of the volunteers are expected to complete the training in order to help with calls. There will also be callouts throughout the week, which the firefighters would be compensated for.

Cherpin says the expected time commitment would be anywhere from three to nine hours during a typical week.

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Though they would be called volunteer firefighters, Cherpin says it’s really more of a paid on-call position. When the firefighters are in training or responding to a call they will be paid.

One thing that potential volunteers need to consider is the types of emergencies they will be responding to. While Cherpin says there are positions at an emergency scene for holding signs and directing traffic, there is a strong possibility that the volunteers may need to deal with a medical emergency. “Applicants need to have a strong stomach, for sure,” says Cherpin.

However, they do provide mental health assistance for their firefighters all of the time. “People aren’t exposed to stuff and then left to deal with it,” he says. “There’s lots of support there for them.”

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Last Friday the Evansburg Inn was entered into the annals of history by the Beer Parlour Project, which has been making a photographic documentary of historic hotels across Western Canada.

Chris Doering, Rob Pohl, and Doering’s wife Connie Biggart are the founders of the Beer Parlour Project, which aims to record the history of hotels that were the focal point of their community when they were first built. The group wants to capture the essence of the building using a combination of digital and vintage flash photography of the building and the community of people who use it. 

“My friends and I are history photographers,” says Doering. “So we go around and document historic buildings, machinery, or whatever the case may be.”

While they were out in the field working, they were often in rural areas. Often there were hotels in the community, some of which were still original structures from the first half of the 20th century, and they would stop in for lunch.

“Right under our noses is all these really interesting hotels with really interesting stories,” says Doering.

The trio started the project in 2022 and have been to about 50 rural establishments since then. Their goal is to visit 100 older hotels across Western Canada so they can publish a coffee table book. They’ve already secured an exhibit at the Alberta Art Gallery in 2028, which they are excited about.

The Beer Parlour group started their weekend on a Thursday at the Colinton Hotel in Colinton, Alberta. From there they drove to Evansburg on Friday, and on Saturday they stopped in at the Warburg Hotel and Saloon.

Though Doering, Biggart, and Pohl all have full-time jobs, this project is their main hobby. The group is funding their project on their own, though they are looking for some arts grants to help cover some expenses. As such, they try to get as many stops in as possible if they have to travel any distance. 

Doering says they pick areas to focus on each time they are planning to work on their project. Once they have the area and have selected the hotels, they look into the history of the building and its relationship to the community. They also consider the cultural side of things and how people are involved in the history of the building. 

“They’re really little hidden gems,” says Doering. “Outside appearances can be deceiving.”

Doering’s role in the project is digital photography, research, and handling most of the interviews. 

“You hear some really amazing stories,” says Doering. “Some hilarious, heart-breaking — you name it.”

Pohl focuses on taking photos, often on his vintage tri-pod camera, and he also helps with some of the writing for the website. 

While Pohl’s camera isn’t the best camera for the project, he uses it because he prefers to develop the pictures in his darkroom. It also provides a great ice breaker as patrons come up and ask him questions about it.

“It’s funny, the expectations of people now, especially the younger generation. [They say] ‘Can I see the back of the camera? What does the picture look like?’” says Pohl.

He says people are often shocked that it will take a month for the picture to be developed, but they always offer to send them a complimentary picture when it’s ready.

Pohl says now that they’ve been to a few different bars, had their stories told in the paper, and have been interviewed for television and radio, they can show that they are credible and have a legitimate project that they are working on. This could make it easier to secure grants to help cover some expenses, and it could also make it easier for them to get their work published in a book.

It hasn’t always been easy for them to get people to trust them. For the most part, owners have allowed them to come in, take some photos, and talk to people; however, some have turned them away.

“There is always a little suspicion because they think we’re either gonna portray their place as a dump and try to make fun of it, which we’re not. We’re trying to celebrate it, get people aware of these [places] and out there to enjoy them,” says Pohl. “We don’t use any images or take any pictures in a way to portray it in that light, so we’ve got to get that understanding in place.”

The other suspicion owners sometimes have is that the Beer Parlour Project is going to charge them for the work they are doing, which has never been the case.

The owners of the Evansburg Inn, Christine and Diane Maskell, say they were happy to participate in the project because they believe it’s important for small towns to be recognized and supported.

“Some people don’t even go off of Highway 16, and when they go to these small communities, they’re amazed at what they can find in them,” says Christine. 

Christine and her mother-in-law, Diane, have owned the Evansburg Inn for nearly 26 years, and it was only recently that Christine decided to close the bar down on Sundays. Prior to that, she had been working every single day to keep the place going while raising five kids.

The best memories Christine and Diane have are of the people they’ve met along the way. The history of their time running the bar is tied to their memories of their patrons and friends.

Currently, Christine, Diane, Christine’s daughter Lindsey, and her daughter-in-law, Jacey, run the place. 

“We do get along really good, honest to God,” says Diane. “They say that mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law don’t get along, but we do.”

The family run business has seen its ups and downs. Their family lost a grandson, son, brother, and husband when Robbie Maskell passed away in 2022.

But still, the women have continued to serve their loyal customer base. Christine is a Jill-of-all- trades, but she doesn’t touch the electrical. She does, however, handle the maintenance for the rest of the building.

“If it’s broken, she’ll fix it,” says Diane.

Over the years, their bar has been known as a place of respect.

“I say, if you respect the place, then I’ll respect you,” says Christine.

In the time they’ve owned the place, there have only been a handful of fights.

Diane recalls a time when Christine had to step in to keep the peace one night.

“There was going to be a fight — this was a few years ago. There was a regular sitting at the bar, and [Christine] knew he was going to go after [another patron]. She jumped over the bar and grabbed him, and hung onto him like you wouldn’t believe,” says Diane.

The bar has become a memorial for some. A bench outside the Inn was placed there in Robbie’s honour, and inside, there is a column filled with messages for a loyal patron who passed away.

“He used to sit in that spot,” says Christine. “He did a lot of plumbing work and help for us over the years we were here, and he suddenly passed away.”

They held a memorial service for Jerry Lee, and his family asked if they could write messages on the wall. Christine pointed them to the area where Jerry always sat, and Jerry’s family and friends left messages for him there.

Several years later, those messages are still preserved, and Jerry is still remembered.

“He had some nieces and nephews that were five or six years old. They’re 18 now and they come in, and they so appreciate that we still have [the messages],” says Christine. “A couple of weeks ago his daughter came in, and she brought her daughter in and they were talking about it. It’s kind of nice.”

Pohl and Doering’s only regret with this project is that they didn’t start sooner. Many old hotels have been closing down in recent years.

“We’ve kind of missed the boat in a way. We should have started a decade sooner and we could’ve gotten a lot more, but we’re going to have no problem hitting 100,” he says. 

The group is also really enjoying working on the project, and Pohl thinks they might push past 100 simply because they enjoy it.

More information about the Beer Parlour Project can be found at www.beerparlourproject.com. 

Intimate and enjoyable venues offer a taste of performing arts

Download your Brazeau and Beyond Experience Guide

Find out what you can do in Drayton Valley, Brazeau County and surrounding region.

If you’re tired of trying to watch live performances from the balconies with binoculars, which is often the case at the large venues found in the city, then the intimate settings of the Eleanor Pickup Arts Centre and the Max Centre are just the ticket.

The two facilities have a full calendar of performances throughout the fall and winter months and they offer two completely different experiences. 

The Max Centre is located in Frank Maddock High School and offers a wide array of “dinner and a show” packages featuring performances by tribute acts showcasing the work of some of the world’s best known musicians. When you book a ticket at the Max you get your money’s worth. An evening can last anywhere from three to four  hours and includes a catered meal, a live performance and well priced drinks. By the end of the night there are almost always people on the dance floor or singing along with the performers. This is an excellent venue to get out with a group and  have some fun. 

The Eleanor Pickup Arts Centre is another performing arts venue that packs a punch.

The arts centre, formerly known as the Cardium Theatre, was the entertainment anchor in downtown Drayton Valley at the height of the mid-century oil boom. In recent years it was purchased by the local municipalities and refurbished into its current form, where it now acts as a venue for live music, comedians  and other entertainers. 

The Eleanor Pickup Arts Centre is the largest stage in this part of Alberta,  is managed by a group of dedicated volunteers and works to bring in up and coming and independent artists to the area. 

A night at the theatre includes moderately priced beverages and snacks, comfortable theatre chairs, and there is no bad seat in the house. If you are working dinner into your evening I would recommend going out for supper at one of the 40 different restaurants in town, and heading out for after-show drinks at nearby lounges and bars. 

Upcoming performances at both venues are regularly advertised on social media or in the Drayton Valley and District Free Press. 

Society raising funds for child with cancer

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The Drayton Valley and District Agriculture Society is raising funds for a local family whose child is fighting a rare form of cancer.

Shortly after his third birthday, Leo Grosjean was diagnosed with a rare cancer called rhabdomyosarcoma. 

“His mom had just come off of maternity leave, and it turned out he needed 42 weeks of treatment including chemo, radiation, and possibly surgery,” says Tayler Vakoulich, one of the organizers of the fundraiser. “Even after that, there is a follow-up of 24 weeks of maintenance therapy.”

The ag society is working with a group called the Golden Circle of Champions, a program that originates in the United States and is just starting up in Canada, to help the Grosjean family cover costs while they care for their son. The group is similar to the Make-A-Wish Foundation with a cowgirl/cowboy focus.

The society was the one to approach the Golden Circle and put Leo forward as a candidate for their program. Typically, the candidates come through rodeos.

“[We] sponsor them and then this program sends them to the [Canadian Finals Rodeo] for the week, it gets them a hotel room, and it gets them all these really cool experiences where they get to go meet the animals and cowboys, and they get their own banquet,” says Vakoulich.

The Golden Circle also sends one of its Canadian candidates to the National Finals Rodeo in Las Vegas.

The ag society was the one who put forward the funds to cover the expenses of the CFR, says Vakoulich, because they wanted to go with a second option that the program offers. It helps people with different fundraisers to help out families.

Some of the fundraisers they have include the Golden Boot, which is a golden cowboy boot that gets passed around during the Thursday Night Rodeos. 

“It goes from $400 to $700 every night,” says Vakoulich.

Other fundraisers include 50/50s at their markets. For the past three months, all of those funds have gone to Leo’s family.

The group is also partnering with Stella Stevens from CFCW Edmonton, who works with the Golden Circle, to put on a concert in the fall, says Vakoulich. 

“She’s helping us get an artist to do a nice big concert in town,” says Vakoulich.

They are also looking for items that can be raffled off at the Thursday Night Rodeos, she says.

Over the next few weeks, the Grosjean family will be incurring far more expense than usual, says Vakoulich. Leo will be headed to Florida for treatments with the hope that a change in treatment will keep the toxicity levels in his lungs down.

Those who would like to donate to the cause can participate in any of the fundraisers, such as the Golden Boot or the 50/50 raffles. They can also reach out to the Ag Society at 780-621-0030 or they can send an email to dvagsocietyinfo@gmail.com.

My battle with birds and my war on wasps

Folks, this month I find myself at war with nature. And so far it looks like nature is winning

Last night I was awoken by the sound of crashing from right outside the bedroom window. I looked out to see half of one of my tomato plants lying on the ground, while the other half was steadily being chomped by a full sized whitetail.  Unruffled, the deer gave me a not particularly apologetic look before wandering over to poop on the lawn.

I suppose at least the deer are nice to watch, unlike the caterpillars we saw earlier in the season.  The lesson we learned then is that while a single caterpillar is interesting to look at and potentially even cute in a creepy crawly kind of way, when that same caterpillar is accompanied by several thousand of his friends and relations it’s really kind of gross.

Meanwhile, as summer has hit its stride over the last couple of weeks it’s become increasingly important to sleep with the window open. At least it is if you’re me. It’s something that was driven into me by my grandmother; a woman who had tremendous belief in the health benefits of fresh air. Mind you, she also believed that if you ate apple seeds a tree would grow inside you, and that you could never have too much slightly used Christmas wrapping paper. But when it comes to fresh air, you know, I think she had a point.  

A few lungs full of the evening air, redolent with the scents of roses and honeysuckle and carried through the bedroom window on the gentlest of zephyrs, lulls you to sleep like a half bottle of cheap Scotch on an empty stomach. But staying asleep, well, that’s a different matter, because sometime around 4 a.m., just as the sun is starting to sneak over the horizon,  Mother Nature lets go with a positive cacophony of squawks and screeches as the magpies in our backyard prepare to greet the day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of birds. I especially like them roasted, with gravy and new potatoes. But I speak as someone who finds it increasingly hard to stay asleep over the sound of his own snoring, so I could really do without any outside interference. 

My final brush with nature (so far) has come in the form of a merry band of wasps who have set up home underneath our deck in an area that is both annoyingly close to the back door and inaccessible for wasp spray unless I’m prepared to go to the lengths of removing a couple of planks to allow me to get at them. I’ve set up a system where I sit in a lawnchair every afternoon and try to hit the wasps with a fly swatter as they come and go.  It’s a simple task, but it involves quite a lot of swearing, because most of the time the wasps refuse to sit still and accept their fate.  I suppose, on the plus side, it gives the neighbours something to talk about, but I can’t help but feel that somehow this is going to end badly.

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Cherpin says right now the department is hovering at around 30 members, but they would like to see that number bumped up to 36. He says this would help with scheduling and allow for more flexibility for everyone.

Anyone interested in applying for the position can contact the fire department at 780-514-2216.

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Last Friday the Evansburg Inn was entered into the annals of history by the Beer Parlour Project, which has been making a photographic documentary of historic hotels across Western Canada.

Chris Doering, Rob Pohl, and Doering’s wife Connie Biggart are the founders of the Beer Parlour Project, which aims to record the history of hotels that were the focal point of their community when they were first built. The group wants to capture the essence of the building using a combination of digital and vintage flash photography of the building and the community of people who use it. 

“My friends and I are history photographers,” says Doering. “So we go around and document historic buildings, machinery, or whatever the case may be.”

While they were out in the field working, they were often in rural areas. Often there were hotels in the community, some of which were still original structures from the first half of the 20th century, and they would stop in for lunch.

“Right under our noses is all these really interesting hotels with really interesting stories,” says Doering.

The trio started the project in 2022 and have been to about 50 rural establishments since then. Their goal is to visit 100 older hotels across Western Canada so they can publish a coffee table book. They’ve already secured an exhibit at the Alberta Art Gallery in 2028, which they are excited about.

The Beer Parlour group started their weekend on a Thursday at the Colinton Hotel in Colinton, Alberta. From there they drove to Evansburg on Friday, and on Saturday they stopped in at the Warburg Hotel and Saloon.

Though Doering, Biggart, and Pohl all have full-time jobs, this project is their main hobby. The group is funding their project on their own, though they are looking for some arts grants to help cover some expenses. As such, they try to get as many stops in as possible if they have to travel any distance. 

Doering says they pick areas to focus on each time they are planning to work on their project. Once they have the area and have selected the hotels, they look into the history of the building and its relationship to the community. They also consider the cultural side of things and how people are involved in the history of the building. 

“They’re really little hidden gems,” says Doering. “Outside appearances can be deceiving.”

Doering’s role in the project is digital photography, research, and handling most of the interviews. 

“You hear some really amazing stories,” says Doering. “Some hilarious, heart-breaking — you name it.”

Pohl focuses on taking photos, often on his vintage tri-pod camera, and he also helps with some of the writing for the website. 

While Pohl’s camera isn’t the best camera for the project, he uses it because he prefers to develop the pictures in his darkroom. It also provides a great ice breaker as patrons come up and ask him questions about it.

“It’s funny, the expectations of people now, especially the younger generation. [They say] ‘Can I see the back of the camera? What does the picture look like?’” says Pohl.

He says people are often shocked that it will take a month for the picture to be developed, but they always offer to send them a complimentary picture when it’s ready.

Pohl says now that they’ve been to a few different bars, had their stories told in the paper, and have been interviewed for television and radio, they can show that they are credible and have a legitimate project that they are working on. This could make it easier to secure grants to help cover some expenses, and it could also make it easier for them to get their work published in a book.

It hasn’t always been easy for them to get people to trust them. For the most part, owners have allowed them to come in, take some photos, and talk to people; however, some have turned them away.

“There is always a little suspicion because they think we’re either gonna portray their place as a dump and try to make fun of it, which we’re not. We’re trying to celebrate it, get people aware of these [places] and out there to enjoy them,” says Pohl. “We don’t use any images or take any pictures in a way to portray it in that light, so we’ve got to get that understanding in place.”

The other suspicion owners sometimes have is that the Beer Parlour Project is going to charge them for the work they are doing, which has never been the case.

The owners of the Evansburg Inn, Christine and Diane Maskell, say they were happy to participate in the project because they believe it’s important for small towns to be recognized and supported.

“Some people don’t even go off of Highway 16, and when they go to these small communities, they’re amazed at what they can find in them,” says Christine. 

Christine and her mother-in-law, Diane, have owned the Evansburg Inn for nearly 26 years, and it was only recently that Christine decided to close the bar down on Sundays. Prior to that, she had been working every single day to keep the place going while raising five kids.

The best memories Christine and Diane have are of the people they’ve met along the way. The history of their time running the bar is tied to their memories of their patrons and friends.

Currently, Christine, Diane, Christine’s daughter Lindsey, and her daughter-in-law, Jacey, run the place. 

“We do get along really good, honest to God,” says Diane. “They say that mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law don’t get along, but we do.”

The family run business has seen its ups and downs. Their family lost a grandson, son, brother, and husband when Robbie Maskell passed away in 2022.

But still, the women have continued to serve their loyal customer base. Christine is a Jill-of-all- trades, but she doesn’t touch the electrical. She does, however, handle the maintenance for the rest of the building.

“If it’s broken, she’ll fix it,” says Diane.

Over the years, their bar has been known as a place of respect.

“I say, if you respect the place, then I’ll respect you,” says Christine.

In the time they’ve owned the place, there have only been a handful of fights.

Diane recalls a time when Christine had to step in to keep the peace one night.

“There was going to be a fight — this was a few years ago. There was a regular sitting at the bar, and [Christine] knew he was going to go after [another patron]. She jumped over the bar and grabbed him, and hung onto him like you wouldn’t believe,” says Diane.

The bar has become a memorial for some. A bench outside the Inn was placed there in Robbie’s honour, and inside, there is a column filled with messages for a loyal patron who passed away.

“He used to sit in that spot,” says Christine. “He did a lot of plumbing work and help for us over the years we were here, and he suddenly passed away.”

They held a memorial service for Jerry Lee, and his family asked if they could write messages on the wall. Christine pointed them to the area where Jerry always sat, and Jerry’s family and friends left messages for him there.

Several years later, those messages are still preserved, and Jerry is still remembered.

“He had some nieces and nephews that were five or six years old. They’re 18 now and they come in, and they so appreciate that we still have [the messages],” says Christine. “A couple of weeks ago his daughter came in, and she brought her daughter in and they were talking about it. It’s kind of nice.”

Pohl and Doering’s only regret with this project is that they didn’t start sooner. Many old hotels have been closing down in recent years.

“We’ve kind of missed the boat in a way. We should have started a decade sooner and we could’ve gotten a lot more, but we’re going to have no problem hitting 100,” he says. 

The group is also really enjoying working on the project, and Pohl thinks they might push past 100 simply because they enjoy it.

More information about the Beer Parlour Project can be found at www.beerparlourproject.com. 

Download your Brazeau and Beyond Experience Guide

Find out what you can do in Drayton Valley, Brazeau County and surrounding region.

If you’re tired of trying to watch live performances from the balconies with binoculars, which is often the case at the large venues found in the city, then the intimate settings of the Eleanor Pickup Arts Centre and the Max Centre are just the ticket.

The two facilities have a full calendar of performances throughout the fall and winter months and they offer two completely different experiences. 

The Max Centre is located in Frank Maddock High School and offers a wide array of “dinner and a show” packages featuring performances by tribute acts showcasing the work of some of the world’s best known musicians. When you book a ticket at the Max you get your money’s worth. An evening can last anywhere from three to four  hours and includes a catered meal, a live performance and well priced drinks. By the end of the night there are almost always people on the dance floor or singing along with the performers. This is an excellent venue to get out with a group and  have some fun. 

The Eleanor Pickup Arts Centre is another performing arts venue that packs a punch.

The arts centre, formerly known as the Cardium Theatre, was the entertainment anchor in downtown Drayton Valley at the height of the mid-century oil boom. In recent years it was purchased by the local municipalities and refurbished into its current form, where it now acts as a venue for live music, comedians  and other entertainers. 

The Eleanor Pickup Arts Centre is the largest stage in this part of Alberta,  is managed by a group of dedicated volunteers and works to bring in up and coming and independent artists to the area. 

A night at the theatre includes moderately priced beverages and snacks, comfortable theatre chairs, and there is no bad seat in the house. If you are working dinner into your evening I would recommend going out for supper at one of the 40 different restaurants in town, and heading out for after-show drinks at nearby lounges and bars. 

Upcoming performances at both venues are regularly advertised on social media or in the Drayton Valley and District Free Press. 

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The Drayton Valley and District Agriculture Society is raising funds for a local family whose child is fighting a rare form of cancer.

Shortly after his third birthday, Leo Grosjean was diagnosed with a rare cancer called rhabdomyosarcoma. 

“His mom had just come off of maternity leave, and it turned out he needed 42 weeks of treatment including chemo, radiation, and possibly surgery,” says Tayler Vakoulich, one of the organizers of the fundraiser. “Even after that, there is a follow-up of 24 weeks of maintenance therapy.”

The ag society is working with a group called the Golden Circle of Champions, a program that originates in the United States and is just starting up in Canada, to help the Grosjean family cover costs while they care for their son. The group is similar to the Make-A-Wish Foundation with a cowgirl/cowboy focus.

The society was the one to approach the Golden Circle and put Leo forward as a candidate for their program. Typically, the candidates come through rodeos.

“[We] sponsor them and then this program sends them to the [Canadian Finals Rodeo] for the week, it gets them a hotel room, and it gets them all these really cool experiences where they get to go meet the animals and cowboys, and they get their own banquet,” says Vakoulich.

The Golden Circle also sends one of its Canadian candidates to the National Finals Rodeo in Las Vegas.

The ag society was the one who put forward the funds to cover the expenses of the CFR, says Vakoulich, because they wanted to go with a second option that the program offers. It helps people with different fundraisers to help out families.

Some of the fundraisers they have include the Golden Boot, which is a golden cowboy boot that gets passed around during the Thursday Night Rodeos. 

“It goes from $400 to $700 every night,” says Vakoulich.

Other fundraisers include 50/50s at their markets. For the past three months, all of those funds have gone to Leo’s family.

The group is also partnering with Stella Stevens from CFCW Edmonton, who works with the Golden Circle, to put on a concert in the fall, says Vakoulich. 

“She’s helping us get an artist to do a nice big concert in town,” says Vakoulich.

They are also looking for items that can be raffled off at the Thursday Night Rodeos, she says.

Over the next few weeks, the Grosjean family will be incurring far more expense than usual, says Vakoulich. Leo will be headed to Florida for treatments with the hope that a change in treatment will keep the toxicity levels in his lungs down.

Those who would like to donate to the cause can participate in any of the fundraisers, such as the Golden Boot or the 50/50 raffles. They can also reach out to the Ag Society at 780-621-0030 or they can send an email to dvagsocietyinfo@gmail.com.

Folks, this month I find myself at war with nature. And so far it looks like nature is winning

Last night I was awoken by the sound of crashing from right outside the bedroom window. I looked out to see half of one of my tomato plants lying on the ground, while the other half was steadily being chomped by a full sized whitetail.  Unruffled, the deer gave me a not particularly apologetic look before wandering over to poop on the lawn.

I suppose at least the deer are nice to watch, unlike the caterpillars we saw earlier in the season.  The lesson we learned then is that while a single caterpillar is interesting to look at and potentially even cute in a creepy crawly kind of way, when that same caterpillar is accompanied by several thousand of his friends and relations it’s really kind of gross.

Meanwhile, as summer has hit its stride over the last couple of weeks it’s become increasingly important to sleep with the window open. At least it is if you’re me. It’s something that was driven into me by my grandmother; a woman who had tremendous belief in the health benefits of fresh air. Mind you, she also believed that if you ate apple seeds a tree would grow inside you, and that you could never have too much slightly used Christmas wrapping paper. But when it comes to fresh air, you know, I think she had a point.  

A few lungs full of the evening air, redolent with the scents of roses and honeysuckle and carried through the bedroom window on the gentlest of zephyrs, lulls you to sleep like a half bottle of cheap Scotch on an empty stomach. But staying asleep, well, that’s a different matter, because sometime around 4 a.m., just as the sun is starting to sneak over the horizon,  Mother Nature lets go with a positive cacophony of squawks and screeches as the magpies in our backyard prepare to greet the day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of birds. I especially like them roasted, with gravy and new potatoes. But I speak as someone who finds it increasingly hard to stay asleep over the sound of his own snoring, so I could really do without any outside interference. 

My final brush with nature (so far) has come in the form of a merry band of wasps who have set up home underneath our deck in an area that is both annoyingly close to the back door and inaccessible for wasp spray unless I’m prepared to go to the lengths of removing a couple of planks to allow me to get at them. I’ve set up a system where I sit in a lawnchair every afternoon and try to hit the wasps with a fly swatter as they come and go.  It’s a simple task, but it involves quite a lot of swearing, because most of the time the wasps refuse to sit still and accept their fate.  I suppose, on the plus side, it gives the neighbours something to talk about, but I can’t help but feel that somehow this is going to end badly.

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